How Can I Distinguish Myself? | Tales From the Youngest Child of a Family with High Expectations

Answered

Hey! I see a lot of myself in you. Similarly, my family has always placed a premium on education, but by the time I reach my final year, the bar will have been set much higher.

You're doing really well for a first-year student. Your PSAT scores are excellent, and you will further strengthen your applications by remaining active in high-level leadership roles in Voices of Black Youth and Student Council throughout high school. You should want to be the school newspaper's editor-in-chief, student body president (start making genuine connections with your classmates right now), or National Honor Society president.

You could use one of your extracurriculars as the basis for an off-campus initiative that would set you apart from your peers. This may take the form of a podcast that offers advice on how to succeed in debate, a summer programme for youngsters that focuses on helping them become more confident public speakers, or even private coaching. If you want to help people prepare for debate competitions, you can start a YouTube channel (maybe in collaboration with a debate group). You might also use the channel to discuss issues unique to Black student life or Black culture.

One additional strategy to get more involved in extracurricular activities is to offer substantial new incentives to the clubs you already belong to. For instance, the event Voices of Black Youth often hosts influential and powerful Black people in positions of authority to share their thoughts and experiences with the youth attendees.

You're doing well in school, so keep up the good work and get nothing but As (I have faith in you). If you want to get at least a 33 or 1500 on the SAT or ACT (I took the SAT), then you should use Khan Academy to study and take practise tests. Having a growth mentality and working with a teacher who is prepared to explain concepts you don't comprehend is crucial. A qualified educator in either mathematics or English would be my recommendation.

Take advantage of college or magazine summer programmes. In addition, I think it's helpful to watch "how I got in" films made by people from the same cultural background.

Plus, it's fine if you missed out on tennis. Unless you are really strong at a sport, like nationally rated, I've heard that sports don't do that much for your application. I offer this not as someone trying to make someone feel better with shallow comments. They're also really demanding. You'll be able to concentrate better on your studies and extracurricular activities without that distraction.

Keep in mind that there are some things you simply cannot accomplish. Nothing to worry about. When I found out I hadn't made the top orchestra as a senior, I was devastated. Even if I didn't put in as much time practising as I should have, that's because I was engaged in other, more rewarding activities. Your life span is limited.

Ahead of time, I can tell you that I have used similar thoughts to yours to propel me toward success. While it occasionally helped, more often than not it just made me too wound up and miserable to do any good at what I was trying to do. Like the time I was in the middle of the SATs and started bawling. I've learned the hard way that dwelling on the negative only makes the next four years a living hell. What's the use of getting into Harvard if you're going to spend your time there miserable?

Relax and think about how well you've been doing so far. And I want you to take this summer to really immerse yourself in a new passion that has nothing to do with school because I'm so proud of you!

Hey! You remind me of myself. I am also from a family with high expectations, only I’ll be a senior next year.

For a freshman, you are doing so well :). Your PSAT is great, and if you stick with and seek the highest leadership positions in Voices of Black Youth and Student Council throughout high school, it will greatly help your application. You should aim to be either the editor in chief of your school’s publication, the student body President (begin now to build meaningful bonds with your classmates), or NHS President.

To distinguish yourself from your classmates, you might need to start a project outside of school using one of your extracurriculars. This could be small business dedicated to tutoring people in the subject you’re best in, a summer camp dedicated to help young kids with public speaking, or a podcast about tips and tricks for debate life. You can create a YouTube channel (try to partner up with your debate organization) for giving advice for debate competitions. Or you can use the YouTube channel to talk about Black culture or Black student life.

However, another way to boost your extracurriculars is to create big new incentives for your clubs. A good example is inviting Black authority figures and influencers to speak at Voices of Black Youth.

Your grades are good, but try to maintain all a’s throughout your years (I know you can do it!). When SAT’s or ACT’s (I took the SAT) roll around, do Khan academy practices and practice tests to prepare so you make at least a 33 or 1500. The key to doing this is a growth mindset and help from one of your teachers who is willing to give you help on questions you miss or don’t understand. I would suggest a math or English teacher.

Make the most of summer programs, either done by colleges or publications. I would also recommend watching “how I Got In” videos done by people of a similar cultural background.

And it’s honestly okay that you didn’t make tennis. I’m not saying this as someone who’s trying to make someone feel better with shallow words — I’ve heard that unless you are insanely good at a sport, like nationally ranked, sports don’t do that much for your application. And they’re super stressful. Without that stress, you can focus more on your grades and extracurriculars :)

And you have to remember that you can’t do everything. It’s okay. I felt so sad when I didn’t make the highest orchestra as a senior. But it was because I was too busy with my other, more fulfilling extracurriculars to focus on practicing, and that was okay. You are a finite human being.

I can tell you ahead of time that I’ve leaned on thoughts like the ones you’re having to push me to succeed. Sometimes it worked, most of the time it made me so worked up and sad that I couldn’t focus on what I was doing well enough to do well. Like when I started crying halfway through my SAT’s. I can tell you that negative thinking just makes you miserable for four years. And if you get into Harvard but are too miserable to enjoy it, what’s the point?

Take a deep breath, remember how well you’re doing. And pick up a hobby you like, completely separated from school and do a lot of it this summer :) I’m proud of you!