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@mel_ • 2 years ago •
Juniors
Discussion
11th-grade

feeling hopeless about getting into college AT ALL

I didn't realize until junior year just how average, or even below-average I am. I always put in minimal effort to pass my classes so I don't know why this is such a shocker. Junior year and reality finally hit when I started to genuinely fail my classes for the first time.

I have a 4.4 gpa from freshman-sophomore year but I'm sure that's going to drop even lower. I dropped out of the only AP I was taking this year and I have B- in more than one class after pulling myself out of having 1 F and 2 D's..

I don't have any good extracurriculars. I just go home and sleep or play games most of the time because I've been severely depressed since childhood and have crippling social anxiety and was nonverbal until 8th grade because I'm autistic. This all sounds crazy but I promise you it's the truth. I was just naturally disadvantaged since birth I guess :/

So anyway, everything feels hopeless. My parents have already started to create alternative plans for me because they also feel it's hopeless. With connections, I might be able to go to a college in China as an international student or have a gap year and try again a year later than my classmates.

I can't believe it's gotten to the point where my parents are coming up with alternative solutions because they know I won't get into any good colleges in America...

It makes me feel so horrible and sometimes makes me feel like I should have off-ed myself long ago.

Sorry to be a downer. These thoughts have been weighing on me for a long time and I'm just not sure which direction to go with my life at this point.

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@Anonymous123 • 2 years ago[edited]

Sorry to hear about what you're facing! Mental health conditions can have a significant impact on your life, but they don't make your life worthless. Even colleges understand this; that's why most colleges (if not all) provide psychological services to their students.

You cannot do anything about the past, so it's better to move on with the hopes of a better future. Getting into a good college alone doesn't guarantee success. You could go to a not-so-reputed college but achieve more than people from T20s if you have the right attitude. There are colleges where you will practically have a decent chance of getting in (including community colleges).

From now on, you need to make responsible choices (sleeping and playing games instead of doing what you're supposed to do won't work). If your mental health is an obstruction, try getting professional help.

Hope this helps!

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@mel_🎤 • 2 years ago

thanks so much! depression is making it hard but i promise i'll try my best. i want the best for myself but it's hard when even getting out of bed feels impossible... regardless, i'll continue pushing forward..!

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