Stuck on personal statementAnswered
My topic on my personal statement is about how i had repeated failures during performances while playing the cello and over came it. I started it off with imagery of me playing and background of what would happen in my head when I would be over critical of myself. Now I'm trying to describe where during a concert i realized it's okay to make mistakes and I relaxed and had a great performance. I'm just stuck on how to make sure the admission can SEE it.
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3 answers
Essays about overcoming failure can often suffer from being too depressing and having a complete lack of humor. Make sure you don't take yourself too seriously and are able to laugh at your failures. If you are trying to help the admissions officers visualize your story, consider describing if there was any change in the reaction of the audience or show how you began to focus on the beauty of the music rather than criticizing yourself. Also think about if there are any catalysts that caused your shift in mindset and describe those. If a lot of the action is happening in your head, I have read a number of successful essays where the writer separated the "voices in their mind" into several distinct personas and framed their internal dialogue as a conversation between multiple "characters" (e.g. perfectionistic self, optimistic self, zen self, etc.)
Make sure that the way you describe it is very easy to read. It’s really difficult for other people to visualize what you want them to if you’re adding fluff and hard-to-understand vocabulary.
When I am having a hard time writing an intro paragraph, I do a brain dump and then change it into a free verse poem (or just start with a free verse poem). I then use the main points, motifs, symbolism, and anaphora to make it into an intro paragraph. But that's just my personal writing style. And I enjoy writing poetry when I'm in that mood.
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