5
3 years ago
Admissions Advice

Stuck on personal statement
Answered

My topic on my personal statement is about how i had repeated failures during performances while playing the cello and over came it. I started it off with imagery of me playing and background of what would happen in my head when I would be over critical of myself. Now I'm trying to describe where during a concert i realized it's okay to make mistakes and I relaxed and had a great performance. I'm just stuck on how to make sure the admission can SEE it.

100%
difficult
collegeessay
commonapp
5
4
@taylorgodiva2 years ago [edited]

Geometry Dash Scratch is a game that gives you a variety of emotions ranging from excitement to pleasure. The graphics of the game give you a simple world and make it easy to see.

Earn karma by helping others:

1 karma for each ⬆️ upvote on your answer, and 20 karma if your answer is marked accepted.

3 answers

0
Accepted Answer
3 years ago

Essays about overcoming failure can often suffer from being too depressing and having a complete lack of humor. Make sure you don't take yourself too seriously and are able to laugh at your failures. If you are trying to help the admissions officers visualize your story, consider describing if there was any change in the reaction of the audience or show how you began to focus on the beauty of the music rather than criticizing yourself. Also think about if there are any catalysts that caused your shift in mindset and describe those. If a lot of the action is happening in your head, I have read a number of successful essays where the writer separated the "voices in their mind" into several distinct personas and framed their internal dialogue as a conversation between multiple "characters" (e.g. perfectionistic self, optimistic self, zen self, etc.)

0
0
3 years ago

Make sure that the way you describe it is very easy to read. It’s really difficult for other people to visualize what you want them to if you’re adding fluff and hard-to-understand vocabulary.

0
0
3 years ago[edited]

When I am having a hard time writing an intro paragraph, I do a brain dump and then change it into a free verse poem (or just start with a free verse poem). I then use the main points, motifs, symbolism, and anaphora to make it into an intro paragraph. But that's just my personal writing style. And I enjoy writing poetry when I'm in that mood.

0
What are your chances of acceptance?
Your chance of acceptance
Duke University
Loading…
UCLA
Loading…
+ add school
Your chancing factors
Unweighted GPA: 3.7
1.0
4.0
SAT: 720 math
200
800
| 800 verbal
200
800

Extracurriculars

Low accuracy (4 of 18 factors)

Community Guidelines

To keep this community safe and supportive:

  1. Be kind and respectful!
  2. Keep posts relevant to college admissions and high school.
  3. Don’t ask “chance-me” questions. Use CollegeVine’s chancing instead!

How karma works