Common App Essay QuestionAnswered
My common app essay is about my first-hand experience of witnessing poverty in India on a trip I took with my family three years ago (not a community service or mission trip; just a regular visit to see my extended family). I mention how seeing poverty in Old Delhi for the first time made me curious on why certain countries are rich and why other countries are poor. These questions then enabled me to discover the field of economics and I spend the rest of the essay talking about how my experience in Old Delhi has changed my outlook on how I view major problems/issues. I just want to know if this topic is okay to use because I fear that it may come off as me being privileged. Like I said before, this is not the classic "mission trip essay" and I do not talk about how I take stuff for granted or how fortunate I am compared to others; instead, I make the focus of the essay on how my experience in India inspired me to study economics and how it changed my perspective on global issues. Would this be okay to talk about and does it sound like a cliche essay?
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2 answers
Hi @rzahidani,
It's not too cliche to write about this. However, I would err on the side of caution regarding the "takeaways" from this experience.
College admissions officers fully expect to read something awe-inspiring, impactful, and memorable from your personal essay that helps them connect the dots to the rest of your academic, EC, honors, and personal character conclusions from your other disclosed data points.
What do I mean? What I mean is that your personal essay is an opportunity to share something unique and special about you that is not evident in the rest of the application file. It is an opportunity for you to share what makes you...YOU. Your personal essay can show how you think, how you feel, what motivates you, what is your primary essence of being, why you have made certain life-changing decisions etc.
So while it's interesting that your experience in Old Delhi 3 years ago has inspired you to study economics in college, the question all admissions officers are going to ask is @rzahidani "what have to done or accomplished in the past three years of high school that is related to this trip to India that has been impactful to your self-actualization as a human, your friends, and family, your community, your volunteerism, your choice in extracurricular pursuits? And the follow-up question they will be asking is "Has this inflection point in your life 3 years ago been the impetus for anything outstanding in your personal growth and character as a member of society?"
If you can't answer these questions in your personal essay, I would say that you might consider writing about another topic where you can give an inside peek into your inner workings as a human being.
Good luck.
It is a little cliché, but it's also a little risky. If you get a admissions person who is really passionate about nationalism and earning what you deserve, they may not see the good intentions behind your writing.
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